Drug Rehabilitation that works

by Ed Yourdon

Question by tinkibear21: Problems with drug addicted fiance?
My fiance is a drug addict and has been for six years. He does not have emotional support from his family and he has no friends. I am the only person he truly cares about and his mother has told me that he has gotten much better since he met me. Unfortunately he still uses. He suffers from depression and Borderline Personality disorder also. Some days he calls rehabs and attempts to do things to get better and others he is negative about his life and future. He uses drugs to compensate for his “sickness” when in reality the drugs are his ultimate sickness. He has to go to jail soon and will be there for at least five months. I’m scared that he will get better while there, but go back to using when he gets out. I don’t know what I should do for him. Please do not say leave him because it will never happen. He is my best friend and I would give my life if only he could get clean, Also please do not suggest 12-step meetings because he is not religious. Can anyone give me some advice?

Best answer:

Answer by Bret
Just don’t have kids. They will probably be more messed up than you two are…

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Question by David L: Bosses alcoholism is causing me problems?
I have a boss who is a hard core alcoholic and while this is none of my business this is starting to affect me. He some times drinks during the day but is never drunk at work. I know he gets very drunk at night (he says so). Again none of my business but please read below.

There are work projects where we need to work together and he can not do his share of the work because he is always hung over. This is starting to effect my work performance in a negative way.

What can I do about this?

Don’t say talk to a supervisor because there is none.

Best answer:

Answer by David Mesirow
Yes, it is your business because his alcoholism is causing you problems. There are a number of routes you can take, depending on the circumstances and which one you think would be best.

1) You can confront your boss directly about it, and if you don’t think it will put your employment or safety in jeopardy, perhaps he will listen to you. However, alcoholics can be stubborn and hostile, so doing this could cause more harm than it helps.

2) You could ask a neutral coworker to try to intervene for you. This way you don’t have to confront the boss directly or alone, and you have an added safety cushion. However, you run the risk of your boss thinking that you are undermining his privacy about his personal problems. Nonetheless, you may have to put your job situation before his privacy.

3) And finally, you could try to work through the situation how it is without confronting the core issue of your boss’s alcoholism. This may mean picking up for some of the work that he doesn’t do because of his alcoholism. However, if you feel in danger as a result of his alcoholism, I would definitely not recommend this. But if you don’t feel comfortable confronting your boss’s personal weaknesses and can still deal with him at work, then perhaps this option is for you.

What do you think? Answer below!

Question by sarah d: One of my sisters has been an alcoholic/drug addict for years. She’s known for blaming all her problems on..?
anyone other than herself, and is very unappreciative when people help her. she had been clean from alcohol and drugs for about 6 months and was getting along with everyone in the family, but she’s drinknig again for over a year. She also has serious anger issues.
I hadn’t seen her for 11 years, and didn’t care to, I had seen her abuse her kids, tell my mother she didn’t care if my mother lived or died (as my mother cried uncontrolllably) wihtout batting an eyelash. When she is upset, though, she’ll cry and cry and say how nobody helps her…
She ‘s 6 years older than me, she’s almost 40 now and is still blaming her drug addiction on how she was treated by our family…she mostly blames it all on our mother b/c my mother wan’t there for her.
She also lost all 5 of her kids b/c she was a crystal meth addict.
My mother has sent her over 1000 dollars over the past few years to help her with rent, etc. My mother also sent her baby cribs, strollers, etc., over the past 8 years when she gave birth to her kids (100s of miles away from my mother).My sister never thanked my mother for any of this.
My mother works FT…she’s in her 70s, she’s worked hard all her life, most of the time as a single mother. she had 7 kids, and has struggled for years. She also had health issues over the years, while working FT,. as a single mother. About 10 years ago, she was finally in a good financial situation (b/c she got a good-paying job and low income housing) , after living in poverty for decades. She never misses a day of work, is never late.
My question is, should my mother feel obligated to visit my sister when she is in the area where my sister lives? (they’re about a 2 hour drive from eachother). My mother visits the area about once every 2 years…My sister has never made the dirve to visit my mother.
My sister freaked out (yelling and screaming) when she found out my mother was in the area recently and didn’t visit her….
I just want to know outside opinions…should my mother make an effort to see my sister, her daughter, when she’s in the area, since they haven’t seen eachother for 2 years….?
Or does all the stuff i mentioned above give my mother reason not to visit her daughter?
P.S. A couple months ago, b/f my mother’s visit, my sister called my mother up, drunk, yelling at her for being a really bad mother.

Best answer:

Answer by composer4life15
mmm sounds a bit of a problem, and your sister does seem to have a few problems of her own, and that is the reason why I think your mother and yourself for that matter should see her, as although your sister does seem to be having problems she needs your help, and family can help people. Surely, your sister can be rational enough to have a calm conversation with you and your mum, what you need to do is sit her down and talk how you feel, say that you want to help and to do that that she needs to co operate and respect you and your mum, and then you’ll respect her.
If she won’t listen to that calmly, then maybe it is for the best for you two, to part ways, make sure she understands that you do care about her, but her attitude towards you isn’t fair and is upsetting you and your mum, and if she doesn’t cooperate and change then she can’t be part of your new family. Make sure she understands that and then let her decide.
Hope this helps
Hope things get better with your sister
Luv composer4life
xx

Give your answer to this question below!

I have been told that i am among the most attractive guys in my grade (sophmore in high school), yet when i look at girls, even girls that i have feelings for, they think that i am thinking something bad about them and looking into them. I cant talk to girls anymore like i used to be able to, and im having problems communicating even with my best friends. I think i have lower my confidence greatly. I didnt have this problem until a year ago when i started smoking marajuana. since then, i have been feeling depressed, repressed, and as if i dont know myself and dont even understand what i am thinking and why. My grades have declined from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s. I know i need to stop smoking but its an addiction, and i need help finding myself…I have heard that meditation is the answer to this and it will help me stop smoking, but i dont know how to meditate.

i would love it if someone could help me with my girl problems and just help me out a little bit because i feel lost

I am 26 years old. I drink once a week on the weekend. I drink usually 8 or 9 beers in one sitting. I don’t consider this excessive but I don’t consider it moderate drinking either. I wanted to know if I continue will I eventually develop health problems, such as cirrhosis? I am otherwise living a healthy lifestyle. I eat a healthy diet (no fast food or soda) and I exercise 4 days a week. I am also the within a health weight (165lbs at 5”11). Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

I’m the only one who knows that my classmate is into drugs. I caught him smoking marijuana and he made me promise not tell anyone about it. I’m feeling really guilty. His drug consumption is increasing everyday and I’m scared for him. He might be addicted to it. What am I supposed to do?

…But I have to be careful about what I use for it due to my genetics
My mother was a meth addict and an alcoholic and a pill popper my father drove himself to his death with his drug habits. I have personally battled with meth addiction in my past. I have always smoked pot lightly (once maybe twice a year) and I feel comfortable with my relationship with the plant. I respect it and would never abuse it. Currently It is the only thing that cures my pain. I have been using the plant as a pain reliever for the last 7 months (only in the evenings and only when I am in my own home for the rest of the night) It allows me to sleep, sit, and stand without pain. When I am under the influence it is the only time I do not suffer my hip and back pain that is crippling at times. But I feel a struggle in my heart between my religious beliefs and my marijuana use. What does god say about this? I do not want to use any other drug but I fear God’s judgment. What should I do?

anyone other than herself, and is very unappreciative when people help her. she had been clean from alcohol and drugs for about 6 months and was getting along with everyone in the family, but she’s drinknig again for over a year. She also has serious anger issues.
I hadn’t seen her for 11 years, and didn’t care to, I had seen her abuse her kids, tell my mother she didn’t care if my mother lived or died (as my mother cried uncontrolllably) wihtout batting an eyelash. When she is upset, though, she’ll cry and cry and say how nobody helps her…
She ‘s 6 years older than me, she’s almost 40 now and is still blaming her drug addiction on how she was treated by our family…she mostly blames it all on our mother b/c my mother wan’t there for her.
She also lost all 5 of her kids b/c she was a crystal meth addict.
My mother has sent her over 1000 dollars over the past few years to help her with rent, etc. My mother also sent her baby cribs, strollers, etc., over the past 8 years when she gave birth to her kids (100s of miles away from my mother).My sister never thanked my mother for any of this.
My mother works FT…she’s in her 70s, she’s worked hard all her life, most of the time as a single mother. she had 7 kids, and has struggled for years. She also had health issues over the years, while working FT,. as a single mother. About 10 years ago, she was finally in a good financial situation (b/c she got a good-paying job and low income housing) , after living in poverty for decades. She never misses a day of work, is never late.
My question is, should my mother feel obligated to visit my sister when she is in the area where my sister lives? (they’re about a 2 hour drive from eachother). My mother visits the area about once every 2 years…My sister has never made the dirve to visit my mother.
My sister freaked out (yelling and screaming) when she found out my mother was in the area recently and didn’t visit her….
I just want to know outside opinions…should my mother make an effort to see my sister, her daughter, when she’s in the area, since they haven’t seen eachother for 2 years….?
Or does all the stuff i mentioned above give my mother reason not to visit her daughter?
P.S. A couple months ago, b/f my mother’s visit, my sister called my mother up, drunk, yelling at her for being a really bad mother.

I myself am a recovering alcoholic and know what it’s like to be an addict, but I don’t really know ho to help a friend that has an addiction. I know that when people tried to help me with my problems I turned away at first and got angry. I think most people do that at first, but I know if my friend gets angry I will lose her, what should I do?