Do you think “tough love” is a good method to assist people with alcoholism and other forms of addiction?

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Question by : Do you think “tough love” is a good method to assist people with alcoholism and other forms of addiction?
My aunt is an alcoholic, and it is really putting a lot of strain on my family. I went to see one of the social-workers at SANCA (the South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence). she suggested my family and I go for a course on “tough-love” to rectify the situation. Whilst I acknowledge that our current approach (giving her money etc when she needs it), is not working, tough love seems cruel to me. I definitely do not want my aunt (who is currently unemployed) to land up on the street. I feel she would probably sink even deeper into her alcoholism as living on the streets is very traumatic. Moreover, the monetary decisions are not in my hands – they are decided by my father and uncle (who support her). I do not want to encourage my family to take an approach to my aunt’s addiction that would cause irreparable psychological damage.

What are your views on this matter?

Thanks to all who answer, I appreciate your input.

Best answer:

Answer by Wendell
Tough Love is a strong approach. It requires you to draw a boundary and stick to it. If you are not willing to keep to the established boundaries you set up it will not help.

Alcoholics begin their road to recovery when they hit bottom. This can be different for each individual. I have known some who lost a job and that was enough. I know others who ended up homeless and in a run down motel decided it was enough.

I do not know what it will take for your Aunt to hit bottom. I suspect your father and uncle make it relatively easy for her to keep her patterns of use.

I want to connect you to an article about how to stop enabling.

http://www.freemyaddict.com/how-not-to-enable-what-works-and-what-doesnt

The damage resulting from the alcoholism may be worse than any psychological damage that may occur.

What do you think? Answer below!

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Is what I am doing a good method to stop my addiction?

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I quit all thoughts of my addiction. Now whenever I notice or think of anything that reminds me of this addiction, I return my thoughts into my body and into my breath. Just like in meditation, I focus on something single to not let my instincts get the better of me. It works for others things such as my food and candy cravings too. It worked so far but its been only a few days so I don’t know.

So I am asking; What is this called that I am doing? Does it work? Will I succeed in ending my addiction.

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