Question by : Do you think “tough love” is a good method to assist people with alcoholism and other forms of addiction?
My aunt is an alcoholic, and it is really putting a lot of strain on my family. I went to see one of the social-workers at SANCA (the South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence). she suggested my family and I go for a course on “tough-love” to rectify the situation. Whilst I acknowledge that our current approach (giving her money etc when she needs it), is not working, tough love seems cruel to me. I definitely do not want my aunt (who is currently unemployed) to land up on the street. I feel she would probably sink even deeper into her alcoholism as living on the streets is very traumatic. Moreover, the monetary decisions are not in my hands – they are decided by my father and uncle (who support her). I do not want to encourage my family to take an approach to my aunt’s addiction that would cause irreparable psychological damage.
What are your views on this matter?
Thanks to all who answer, I appreciate your input.
Best answer:
Answer by Wendell Tough Love is a strong approach. It requires you to draw a boundary and stick to it. If you are not willing to keep to the established boundaries you set up it will not help.
Alcoholics begin their road to recovery when they hit bottom. This can be different for each individual. I have known some who lost a job and that was enough. I know others who ended up homeless and in a run down motel decided it was enough.
I do not know what it will take for your Aunt to hit bottom. I suspect your father and uncle make it relatively easy for her to keep her patterns of use.
I want to connect you to an article about how to stop enabling.
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Question by e e: I’m in love with a semi-recovered addict…?
My boyfriend of 6 years wants to marry me and I am in love with him but I don’t think he’s proven that he can be sober completely. We both used a lot together and I have been clean for a year, he has been clean for like 3 months. I really want to have kids, I just turned 30, I don’t want to waste any more time. What to do???
Best answer:
Answer by 28 Weeks Later for the love of god be 100% sure that the act is cleaned up before you bring children into the equation.
Question by walshkid: do you know anyone suffering from alcoholism, if someone you love is dying slowly alcoholics anonymous works?
A.A PROGRAM WILL HELP SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM THEIR KILLER ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL.DONT ABANDON THEM ,IF YOU LOVE THEM GET THEM TO AN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING IT REALLY WORKS.
alcoholics anonymous helps them want to stop,they are surrounded by true friends that will come to their aid 24 hours a day.
My husband is recovering from heroin addiction and I don’t know what I can do to help him. He has been taking suboxone’s for 2 days now and I just feel that I can do something more to make his recovery better. Anything will help! I would love to hear success stories. Thanks!
I’m in a relationship with the man of my dreams, Sometimes it feels to good to be true but it really is. We fight sometimes but always end up making up and love each other madly. All my friends are envious and we’re in Heaven. I really feel like I’m addicted to him. It’s been 2 years and the passion hasn’t died down one bit. Is this love like a drug addiction? The simple thought of losing him sends shiver down my spine and thank god, he’s never given me a reason to. Is love an addiction?
Sleater-Kinney’s last performance, on August 12th, 2006, at the Crystal Ballroom in their hometown of Portland, Oregon. A kickass, punky indie rock band, the best to come out of the Portland music scene, and what I believe is the best band associated with riot grrrl, no contest. Catchy as hell to boot, and responsible for the best album of 2005, The Woods, which kicks the shit out of anything else that came out that year in terms of sheer rockoutness. This is one of their best gigs. You can tell they really wanted to go out with a bang. Highlights include an incendiary performance of End of You, probably the definitive version, and Entertain, the best punk song written since Lord knows when. Setlist: 01. The Fox 02. The End of You 03. Wilderness 04. Jumpers 05. One Beat 06. Step Aside 07. The Hot Rock 08. Rollercoaster 09. All Hands on the Bad One 10. Night Light 11. What’s Mine Is Yours 12. Stay Where You Are 13. Modern Girl 14. Let’s Call It Love 15. Entertain 16. Sympathy 17. Words & Guitar Encore #1: 18. Milkshake ‘n’ Honey 19. You’re No Rock ‘n’ Roll Fun 20. Not What You Want 21. Steep Air 22. God Is A Number 23. Oh! 24. Dig Me Out Encore #2: 25. Good Things 26. Turn It On 27. One More Hour Special Thanks to the following people who allowed me to get this gig on youtube for the first time in a beautiful, widescreen, non-mediocre resolution: Carl Z and Rainman at the SK W&G board for creating the DVD and circulating it, Prophetofog, for getting me my copy and for …
LYRICS: Hey, hey, hey, hey Top down in the summer sun The day we met was like a hit and run And I still taste it on my tongue (Taste it on my tongue) The sky was burning up like fireworks You made me want you, oh, so bad it hurt But girl, in case you haven’t heard I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you forever, forever is over We used to kiss all night, now it’s just a bar fight So don’t call me crying, say hello then goodbye (Oh yeah!) There’s just one thing would make me say (Oh yeah!) I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you forever, but now it’s over (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey) Hot sweat and blurry eyes We’re spinning on a roller coaster ride The world stuck in black and white (Stuck in black and white) You drove me crazy every time we touched Now I’m so broken that I can’t get up Oh girl, you make me such a lush I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you forever, forever is over We used to kiss all night, now it’s just a bar fight So don’t call me crying, say hello then goodbye (Oh yeah!) There’s just one thing would make me say (Oh yeah!) I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you forever, but now it’s over All the time I wasted on you All the bullshit you put me through I’m checking into rehab ’cause everything that we had Didn’t mean a thing to you I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you forever, but now I’m sober I used to be love drunk, but now I’m hungover I love you …
Sleater-Kinney’s last performance, on August 12th, 2006, at the Crystal Ballroom in their hometown of Portland, Oregon. A kickass, punky indie rock band, the best to come out of the Portland music scene, and what I believe is the best band associated with riot grrrl, no contest. Catchy as hell to boot, and responsible for the best album of 2005, The Woods, which kicks the shit out of anything else that came out that year in terms of sheer rockoutness. This is one of their best gigs. You can tell they really wanted to go out with a bang. Highlights include an incendiary performance of End of You, probably the definitive version, and Entertain, the best punk song written since Lord knows when. Setlist: 01. The Fox 02. The End of You 03. Wilderness 04. Jumpers 05. One Beat 06. Step Aside 07. The Hot Rock 08. Rollercoaster 09. All Hands on the Bad One 10. Night Light 11. What’s Mine Is Yours 12. Stay Where You Are 13. Modern Girl 14. Let’s Call It Love 15. Entertain 16. Sympathy 17. Words & Guitar Encore #1: 18. Milkshake ‘n’ Honey 19. You’re No Rock ‘n’ Roll Fun 20. Not What You Want 21. Steep Air 22. God Is A Number 23. Oh! 24. Dig Me Out Encore #2: 25. Good Things 26. Turn It On 27. One More Hour Special Thanks to the following people who allowed me to get this gig on youtube for the first time in a beautiful, widescreen, non-mediocre resolution: Carl Z and Rainman at the SK W&G board for creating the DVD and circulating it, Prophetofog, for getting me my copy and for …
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