Drug Rehabilitation that works

Question by its Mrs. Dingleberry to you: has anyone dated a recovered drug addict? Feeling left out… please help!!?
My BF and father of my baby due in June is a good person. He is a recovered drug addict & has done a lot to turn his life around. We have a relationship with very deep feelings & a lot of passion.

However, he goes through these periods where he will completely shut me out (mostly when he is struggling with “inner demons” & issues that are hard for him to process). He will also make comments that hurt my feelings like “why do you have to invade on my time?” when we’re apart & I text him. He usually realizes how he has come off & apologizes…

but I’m wondering, what can I do to avoid feeling so hurt & left out when he withdraws inward, or turns toward his NA or AA friends? I know about AlAnon, but any other suggestions?

Best answer:

Answer by Helen W.
I don’t know how long your BF has been clean/sober. Some of the things you mention sound like the travails of someone who is fairly new at sobriety and who perhaps hasn’t had the benefit of therapy. If so, then perhaps you could gently suggest that “inner demons” can best be dealt with in therapy; NA/AA is not set up to deal with that sort of thing.

As far as him turning toward his NA/AA friends rather than you, please understand that he has been taught to do that in program. They teach that in times of trouble, one is to turn to the group as a primary resource, under the theory that nonaddicts (“normies”) don’t and can’t understand. Naturally, this can lead to some hurt feelings on the part of the nonaddicted loved ones, but when they complain, this serves as “proof” that indeed, normies don’t understand. It’s kind of a catch-22 and something that the loved ones of 12 step program members struggle with all the time.

As far as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, my experience with those groups has not been positive; in fact, my therapist suggested that I NOT go to such meetings because I would be, as she put it, “the healthiest one in the room” and would get nothing out of it. Turned out she was right.

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Question by its Mrs. Dingleberry to you: Adults – Has anyone dated a recovered addict? I’m feeling left out…or puzzled…?
I posted this here bc i’m not 15 and wanting to know what do with my crush (singles & dating)…anyway….

My BF and father of my baby due in June is a good person. He is a recovered drug addict & has done a lot to turn his life around. We have a relationship with very deep feelings & a lot of passion.

However, he goes through these periods where he will completely shut me out (mostly when he is struggling with “inner demons” & issues that are hard for him to process). He will also make comments that hurt my feelings like “why do you have to invade on my time?” when we’re apart & I text him. He usually realizes how he has come off & apologizes…

but I’m wondering, what can I do to avoid feeling so hurt & left out when he withdraws inward, or turns toward his NA or AA friends? I know about AlAnon, but any other suggestions?

Best answer:

Answer by John R
Right now he is sort of totally focused on getting his life together so it isn’t unusual that he tends to be more into what he is trying to do, you might want to think about letting him get his life together before you do much more with him before you commit to the guy on a full time relationship.

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Every time some opposition to 0bama is declared explicitly or implicitly by some Leftist as “Racism”,take a drink.

Obviously this could lead to a severe Alcohol Shortage in America,and a huge spike in Cirrhosis cases,but at least once we pass out we don’t have to listen to the whining anymore.

Although I have not drank any alcohol in 4.8 years, the atrophy of cirrhosis scar tissue has stooped all blood flow through the left lobe of my liver and is now very small in size after initially being enlarged. Does it need to be removed. I also have chronic pancreatitus (16 acute attacks over last 4 years) and my gallbladder was also removed. I am not diabetic. I need advice. I have a liver biopsy scheduled in 3 weeks.

My whole building is full of people that are some of the worst alcoholics I have ever seen… My neighbor is banging a guy old enough to be her grandpa and does nothing but smoke pot and yell at her dog then go downstairs and drink…

Everyone I have met up in Winetka or North Brook, the two most well-off parts of the Chicago-Land area are LITERALLY either alcoholics or CRACK HEADS… LITERALLY smoking crack and abusing pills.

Hillary Clinton is from the area I’m talking about! (Though that would explain some things I have seen her say and do.)

It seems as if I’m the last person on earth to start abusing an intoxicating substance to be able to get through life… And then they all look at me strangely when I complain about how they screwed something up or forgot to do something important because they were too fixated on their substance of choice to give a sh*t about it.

In Arizona, everyone was either an alcoholic or doing meth… I grew up in Ahwatukee! The RICH part of Phoenix… (I wasn’t rich but we had a nice house in the area) and they were catching 8th graders SMOKING CRACK in the wash (dry river bed) behind the Middle School!

A teacher I knew had a daughter that was chased by these crack smoking 8th graders because she came across them while she was walking home from school and they didn’t want her to tell!

For fu*ks sake… Why is it that I am the ‘odd duck’ for NOT wanting to depend on an intoxicating substance to get through my life?

Sigh…