i don’t know what to do to stop hurting. i’m 19 years old, a senior in high school. i’ve been living with my dad for alittle over a year, he and i were very close in the begining. he was recovering from a crack addiction and alcoholism and doing very well, he had a few relapses during that time but they consisted of getting high or drunk once, telling me about it if i didn’t already know, appologizing, and then stopping and staying sober for several months. about 2 1/2 weeks ago he and his live-in girlfriend had an arguement and he came to me and said it was about him using behind my back for several months. he told me he would sober back up and things would get better, i didn’t believe him this time, about a week later i found a crack pipe in a cigarette pack while he was sleeping. i wrote him a long note telling him i needed to get out of the house to think and i didn’t know when i would be back. when i got a hold of him again i told him i didn’t think it was healthy … to be cont.
for me to continue living there and enabling him, i had told him on more than one occasion that i would move out if he relapsed again, this time i did. i found some friends who took me in for a very small amount of rent and have been staying with them ever since, only going back to gather a few clothing articles and other necessities. i have been keeping in contact with him via phone because i still love him and want to maintain a relationship with him. this morning before school i called him because he had asked me to, he said we needed to talk soon. when i asked him what it was about he said he was considering moving across the country back to Washington state, i didn’t have time to talk more, i will be going over tomorrow to talk with him face to face about it, but it devistated me that he was leaving. i love my grandmother to death but i know that when he goes back to Washington she will enable him more so than i ever was able. it hurts me so bad because i love him… continued…
so much and wanted more than anything to try and form a healthier relationship with him and now that will be impossible. he won’t get the help that he needs when he leaves, and i know that he can get healthy, but not if he goes back to Washington where he knows many more people, most of whom he used drugs with (many more than crack) and he will fall back into the pattern that he has been in for many years of using and not caring about anyone/anything. is there some way that i can make the pain he’s causing me to go away and stop thinking about him and crying everytime i do? is there some way i can help him? is there a reason people do this to the ones who love them? any feedback or advice you have will be greatly appreciated.
thank you,
Girl in Pain
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