Even just a little support would help. please im just 15 and my life is worse then you could imagine?
DRUG ADDICTION REHAB Add comments
im 15 years old. i will be 16 in less than a month.
ive been in the court system since i was 14.
i was locked up for 8 months in juvenile detention and 2 programs.
ive been to detention a lot, i have lots of charges.. 15 misdominors.
im facing my second felony in court on march 18th.
im fat and ugly… my family cant affod counceling or medication for depression and A.D.D.
I was kicked out of my high school and its the only high school within 60 miles of where i live.
i started doing drugs at 13 and have tried just about anything, i will do anything i can get, my current addiction is cough medicine, pain pills, sex, meth, weed, and cigarettes. the only love i ever had cheated on me and played mind games and abused me. my dad is abusiive and addicted to meth, verbally and so is my mom. the only person i could trust is my sister and she is addicted to pain pills BAD and she is slowly dying. i have a brother with aids and addicted to heroin. i have had sex with 4-5 guys with no relationships trying to get pregnant, no protection. at least 10 guys more than 10 times each I cut myself, and you can say its for attention all you want, but i will only do it when i get yelled at, it calms me down, and punching walls… i have always had trouble making friends, partly because i cant control my actions or what comes out of my mouth. i’m a compulsive liar to my parents.. they offen tell me what a waste of a person i am, how i eat too much, how i wont ever get anywhere… i grew up in a home where my dad was never home and i never heard “i love you” (im in tears just from typing that) i drink whenever i can and i always end up drinking too much, that i pass out of have sex with someone and not remember it. i’m a theif. i steal money from anyone. i steal cough medicine from the stores. ive overdosed a lot on it. i have a very ugly face and everything about me is pretty much unloveable. the only people that hang out with me are people who do bad things “sometimes” and im the kind of person that is always doing bad things. lots of people in this small town hate me, and ever since i was in kindergarten some kids my age were told to stay away from me… i will do anything for exceptance and im addicted to the feeling of being able to say “ive done that before” idk what to do and your probably not going to answer this now because i sound like a horrible person.. oh well go ahead tell me how im wasting this world’s oxygen.
or you can give me some support or advice?
I have such low self esteem that ive been experementing with anorexia since i was very little, and latley ive been throwing up every single meal, purposly, for almost 2 weeks
this upcoming court date is one that going to probably put me in community placement, away from my home, for long term… i have no idea what to do………….. i feel like dying.
the last grade i ACTUALLY PASSED was 6th grade.
when i was 14, right before i got locked up i was raped and while i was locked up i got a call and they told me “the guy that raped me left town and possibly went back to mexico” he was a mexican….. it was eating me alive while i was locked up and its getting worse over time. sometimes i cant sleep, i have dreams, and i cry whenever i think about it…
whats even worse is that my probation officer told me that on my court date on March 18th she is going to reccomend that i be put in community placement.. like a foster home…… im so scared i dont know what to do! HELP? please
Tags: could, even, Help, imagine, just, Life, Little, please, support, worse, would
No matter whether you feel like you have people in the world to love you, God loves you so much and just as much as he does for anyone else. You may tell yourself that he looks down upon you in a negative way but that is not true. He loves you so much and He may be disappointed, but only because He wants the very best for you and He wants to guide your life.
Please keep in mind, whether you’re at home, in school, locked up, in court, or in a foster home, that God is filled with love for you, regardless of the mistakes you have made. He hopes you will stop making these mistakes and that you will allow him into your life, and so do I. Realize that what you’re doing does not truly have benefits because you are here asking for support, and no matter how much I say, it is only the Lord that can provide with enough support and make you feel complete. I know what it’s like to feel guilty and empty, to have a hole in my heart, but God can heal that. You can start praying, read the bible, go to church, please allow him into your life and he will bring you joy.
Jesus loves you, no matter what you’ve done. Hold on!
My opinion would be to contact the police department or CPS and tell them of your situation. If you stay in an addictive situation like you expressed, you will most likely follow suit. You need a more stable and loving place to be. You may not realize it right now, but there is always someone looking out for you. There is always someone who loves you, and who cares what happens to you. If you show hat you are making an effort to change your life, someone will see. You need to be clean and sober so you can make better decisions for yourself ask your probation officer about that. They should be able to send you in the right direction.
Try not doing those things.
Okay, firstly I’m only 17 and so not that much older from you. I’m from England, and I’m guessing you’re from the US just going on the language that you’ve used. Correct me if i’m wrong. What I’m trying to say is that I’m no proffesional and may not be able to help you and there may be a little bit of a culture gap. However I’m willing to try.
Whilst I have never gone through anything half as bad as what you have from the sounds of it, I have experienced the feeling of no self worth and attempted suicide.
As cliche as this sounds, you’re only 15 going on 16, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, something that I’m only just starting to realise. You sound like you have anxiety problems, something I know a lot about as I also suffer with it.
If you want to talk some more, my email is mammamiaminx@googlemail.com
Hope I can help, and the fact that you’re asking for it shows you’re willing to change, which is the first step.
Every cloud has a silver lining. If you’re legit, then I’m sorry.
If you want to cut yourself, do it from up to down. If you can’t bring yourself to do that, well then good for you. When you starve yourself, picture young kids having to die of starvation. Every time you steal something, the devil kicks a puppy. Sounds like your parents are the source of what you are today. Accept going in to foster care. There’s no where to go but up. You say people in your town hate you? It’s not the only town in the world. You’re 15 with no “love”? 40 year-old virgin. You think you’re large and unattractive, there are people with twisted mouths and blinded eyes. It’s easy to kick depression. I suggest to you that you go to a place of poverty near where you live and help out that community. Take all that in consideration, you will grow older. Whether or not you’ll have a better life is up to you. Nothing is ever easy. I will pray for you, and good luck.
Well talk to the court your family is in good hands but you need to put yourself first
instead of a baby try to get a job in a zoo or a animal shelter i know you are an amazing girl that has allot of love to give out and one lucky baby is going to get it but wait your turn there is tons of lil animals that need all that love and care it would really help you get your mind off life problems
i have been through the drugs and the streets trust me honey addictions are for the cry baby’s i know you are strong female and could get up and dust herself off you are still young and still could become the president of the untied states if you wish so just ask for help in court don’t just ask to get less time in jail
that mexican is just going to rot he is dead to you and as far as you know he is burning in hell trust me
i have done my best friend has done it there is hundreds of people that got out the street it seems hard but its not
You want society to help you and want life to be easier? Don’t screw with society. You obviously have for your entire life. The worst problem you have is commiting crimes. That is basically saying fu(k you society. Nobody cares if you do drugs, it really is no big deal unless you make it a big deal. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, most people couldn’t care less. You just seem like the type of person that gets into trouble and then wonders why they are in trouble. Get your life together and it will get better. Life is like a mirror, you smile at it and it smiles back, you frown at it and it frowns back.
im 16, from scotland, and i assume ur american(soz if ur not >.<) anyway, im pretty sure in america you can divorce your parents, as u can in many countries, just tell the police your situation.. move out and go on benifits for a while, its hard but worth it in the end, i know you may be attached to your parents, n it will be hard leaving them, but you can also get them help aswell. just run solo till u get ur life on track, stop the drugs, i dont give two sh-its bout smoking i do it myself also, 1st and formost stop the drinking… that messes u up big time, attacks confidence and motovation same with weed. but ciggies actually can help they work as a sort of anti-depressant in alot of people. and this is atouchy subject but never think of killing yourself…. its the most selfish and dumb thing you can possibly do. go on a course which helps you get your diplomas and all that, find a job, rent a flat or trailer, just hold out.. do this i guarentee u willbe better in the 1st 3 months. however it will take time to sort all this out. and for the words “I Love You”, you will hear them when you meet the right person, not from the dickheads who use you as a cheap and easy bang. i know that sounded harsh but its the truth. look just use your head do the thinking, and not a spliff or a bottle of JDs your 15 you got so much life ahead of you so use ur head and help yourself, you have to find the right people to help you in your life aswell as yourself. look on the net to find some adresses and numbers and start helping yourself today. the 1st step to quit the drinks/CM/drugs thats the hardest part. if you need any more help, send a reply to this message. Good Luck
Dont worry, youre not ‘wasting this worlds oxygen’.
The fact that you are concerned by what you see around you is proof that there is a lot of good within you. It wasnt your choice to be born into a family who have chosen what they have chosen. I’m in a similar situation, except im the only person in my family who doesnt do weed.
You can’t always tell what the future holds, I know that change can sound scary (I’ve just been cheated on by a girlfriend of over 4 years), that was a big change to be alone again. But the truth is that sometimes, change can be for the better. The aim of the court system is to repair society and help bring a better future for those who deserve it. If your probation officer recommends that you are given a new family who love and care for you, you shouldn’t be too frightened. You will see your old family again one day, probably sooner than you think.
As for self harm, that is a cry for attention, but that certainly doesnt mean I condone it, or that it should be ignored. You should be offered time with a psychologist. Here in England we would get that free, but I dont know how it works in the states, you should ask your probation officer.
As for your parents calling you a waste of a person and saying you eat too much, that is TOTALLY wrong. Ask them how far they got in their life. Sometimes, people who know they are in a bad place, try to make themselves feel better by putting others below them. You can not control what they say, but you can control how you react. Dont become anorexic, it hurts every day and people look better healthier. If youre not sure of a healthy weight for your height, google it and measure yourself, youre probably fine.
Finally, just relax. If anything upsets you or makes you question yourself in a bad way, just look at it from in someone elses shoes. Try to imagine what it would be like to step out of the situation and look at it from the outside. If you saw someone else who had been refused love when growing up, then offered drugs, then gone through everything you had gone through, could you understand that they may steal from the shop, or lie to their abusive parents? (neglect is abuse)
Dont worry too much about everything, youre future is bright if you want it to be, but most people struggle to truly see it. The past doesnt exist, its just your memories that do, and you can control and ignore and forget anything that hurts you.
Best wishes going forward from here, try to imagine what the perfect foster family will be like. The more you do, the better you will feel about it
i dont know how much advice i can give you, but i can certainly give you a listening ear and plenty of support. if you want to email me you can (jemoess@yahoo.com) if you ever want to chat. i also know a forum for people with eating disorders if you are interested – everyone there is very supportive, and i know that a few of them have ADD too.
you dont sound like a horrible person at all. there is a very big difference between a horrible person and one who is not getting the care she needs.
i understand how hard things are after a rape, and all the mind stuff that comes with it
i also understand addiction, self harm, eating disorders, abusive family. its all rough.
as for the court stuff, i can only offer support, i really dont know what to advise, except to take each day, each bit of news, as it comes.
Oh, hon…I do Not think you are a waste of the earth’s oxygen…you are not. You are worth it, you’re a fighter–I can tell that from all you’ve been through, and /you’re still here./ And that’s not going to change.
Please message me–I tried you, but it’s blocked. I don’t know what its like to be you–no one in the world does–but I do know what it’s like to be at the end of my rope, to feel like there’s nothing left, like I’m just a mistake created for others’ amusement. And I know what it’s like to Know that all that isn’t true. So if you want to talk more, I’d be glad to listen.
ok, if you’re legit then im sooooo sorry. try to go to AA or drug addicts A. they can get you into a rehab. go to a priest or a rabbi and talk to them. you’re under 18 so you can go to foster care and get help and get a counciler. don’t worry girl there’s a good home and a good guy out there for you. stay strong. if you’re a faker then yo suck. but once again if this is legit im sorry and i hope u get better