So its decided I am going to California in Aug. The household is too intense. My mom bangs the walls, yells hits, screams for no reason. My brother has my 30inch LCD and now I want it back but my father says that is my brothers. They argued with me told me I was worthless and ugly. So the other colleges I applied to are out of the question. I just called tampa univeristy to withdraw my application. I need help to deal with this until I leave in Aug. To be honest I dont really think I am going to make it. Every day I overdose on drugs because of this. This whole envrionment changed me. I am very calm when my mom has her bi-polar episode then my brother makes it worse insulting me and adding more fuel to my moms rage and takes it out on me. I have so much medication that everyday I overdose. They hospitlized me two times couple of months ago, for no reason. I was taking my medicine responsbilty and they assumed I was abusing it and had an eating disorder. None of this was true. Now because of all the lies they told me, doctors and family members I devloped an eating disorder, I abuse all of my medications every day, and I dont think I am going to live much longer. When I walk my heart hurts really bad. My pulse fluctuates dramatically from 55-170 everyday. Rehab will only but me back in the same situation! I just need to get out of here ASAP before I sersiouly die. I amn not overreacting or anything, but the abuse in the household is just unbareable. I do everything from reaming calm, asking questions as to why they are mad, remove my self from that situation but it doesnt help.Thank god its almost june, but seriosuly I am already contemplating suicide. I dont want to hear answers of seeking help, like going to a hospital or so forth because look what it did. I was a normal kid using adderall responsbily and after being tackeled by my father for no reason to go to the hospital tramatized me. I threathened them with eveyrhting and told them I get w.e. medication I want and they had to aggree cause I was about to leave ny again. This is not who I am. I dont understand why they do this, but I need serious coping skills. I am telling you, I dont want to hear go to hospital or rehab as I really dont have hte problem. I am just not dealing with the problems correctly. I am afraid if I ever go back to the hospital, I will die. I will proab gain weight. Become hestrical, overdose on meth, coke, or something and that it. I just need some serious guidance to deal with very verbally abusive manipulative people. Because with the rate how things are going I wont make it to Aug. four days ago I overdosed on Wellbutrin and had a seziure because my mom said all of this horrible stuff and my brother instigated it. It was so cruel and evil. Theres no other way I can deal with this?
I mean they said I went to the hospital for my own good? I was correctly using my medication and out of the bloom they drove my slowly crazy. I am telling you I need tips instead of short answers like go see somone. I dont have that avaliable right now! If you dont really listen to what I am trying to say and say stuff like rehab or seek help then I guess, this will be an anna nicole case in scarsdale. Its not that I am addicted to drugs its just the abuse in the fmaily is too much and there is no way I can deal with it. I have no family members that are supportive. I dont know, but please give advise.I am one step away from being a coke and meth addict. And mixing these with prescriptions well…end in death. Honestly if everyone thinks its hearsay horse say well, or doing this to cause attention well beleive that. All I really want is strategies to deal with this until college starts in aug. Because everyday I take more and more. Soon, I just might now wake up.
I am felling better, IO keyed my bros car so many times and soon ill key my moms car. MY dad, honestly if I saw him here I would put chlorine in his water and watch him die, so I am hoping he doesnt ever visist me.
Make the story shorter… idk bout u but i am not going to read that. i HATE READING! but best of luck on what ever happened
Good lord. You need to immediately seek some mental help. You are having some very serious issues which you are dealing with in a very destructive way. I have a bi polar sister and mother(step) my sister is now a drug addict and started pretty much the same way as you. Please immediately seek help. Get yourself to a friend or relatives house and tell them that you need to speak with a mental health professional immediately….. There are no coping strategies for what you are doing my love. You are doing the opposite of coping…. please please please I watched my sister go from prescription drugs to street drugs (inc meth) and its awful…. Please, get help.
Also, feel free to email me if you need to talk
You don’t explain why you are going to California, what you plan to do there (college I assume), or how you plan to live (are your parents paying for college?) or with whom. You also don’t mention your age. If you are under 18, turn yourself over to Child Protective Services. If you are a female, call your local women’s shelter and ask for help. Find a friend or relative you can stay with until August. College is also very stressful, so make sure you can actually stay off the drugs even after you leave home. You may be trading one place you can’t handle for another.
you are going through more than any young woman should have to.
i grew up with alcoholic parent, mum used to belt me daily with whatever she could lay her hands on.
i learned to cope by playing music in my head, the music would block out most of the abuse so that i could not hear it.
please be more care full with your prescription drugs as you were put here for a reason, you are the future and all this bad experience can only make you a better adult, and you can pass on your knowledge to other young people going through the same thing.
good luck, hang in there, you CAN do it…