I need advice. I am a 31 year old with BiPolar, Depression and Generalized Anxiety with panic attacks. I’m?
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having a hard time handling life and motherhood and I feel I’m dragging my loved ones down with me. In the last 8+ years I have been employed quite a few times and haven’t held a single one. I started drinking when I was young and alcoholism and my choices have caused a great deal of problems and worry. I have 2 DUI’s and have 6 months left of probation but worry about paying anything. I have become a loser. My credit is so bad and I don’t have a single penny to even get Anything put in my name. I’m trying to keep pressing on. I have gone to numerous detoxes and most recently successfully completed 8 1/2 months in residential treatment facility. My daughter was 3 months when I entered. I am still sober but it’s not easy. I almost fatally shot myself in July of 2006 and tear my family up with my problems. I want to be alive and be happy and healthy but I’m having a hard time building a ladder to crawl out of this hole. No job, no money, no license. I want to go to school. I want to contribute. I need to fight harder. I’m stuck. Jails, institutions and near death. I know you can’t answer this for me but can I pull out of this and be the person I know in my heart I’m meant to be?
Tags: advice., Anxiety, attacks., bipolar, depression, Generalized, need, panic, year
Hang in there. Seems like you hit rock bottom already. Pick yourself up and do it for your kid. Don’t worry about money. The money will eventually come. Money does not buy happiness. I rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. Take it one day at a time and stay away from people with bad habits and negative attitudes. Also, pray every night before you go to bed and ask God to help you. He’s the only one that understands you.
I can answer this for you.
If you are doing your duty towards your children in the best way possible.
If you are exercising every day.
If you stop eating excess of sat; and No sugar.
If you take lot of vegetables and fruit every day.
If you put a lid on your excessive needs and wants and think of others.
If you love others rather than wanting to be loved like a little kid.
Then for the last. If you know what is real and what is not real in this world, YOU WILL BE FINE.
Try to control depression and live a life of some meaning for yourself and others, you will be fine.
Always take some mood stabilizer evry day.
Ramesh
I would say you have already taken a BIG step by getting sober and staying that way for over 8 months!! I am not BiPolar, but i have delt with depression and a major anxiety disorder my entire life, so to that i can relate. Your daughter needs you to be happy and healthy ….no you just need to figure out how to be that way.
OK, so you have a few months left without a license i assume. So its going to be a few before you can become super proactive to get your life on track. But you do have access to a phone and a computer obviously. Start doing some research!! What could you do with you life that you feel like you would be happy. Look at community colleges and trade schools in your area..check out their programs..see if anything interests you. Something will spark that interest and create a bit of excitement to get you motivated to take another step.
It has been in my expirence, that when i feel like i am lost and low, giving to others really give me perspective. ya know…the whole “ya can’t get till ya give mentality”. And it is very strange that when you help others you really start to feel better about yourself. Once again, search online for jobs that might give you that opportunity or even if it is just volunteering!! Make others feel better, even if i was super low, always lifted me!!!
I mean you have 2 choices: Give up….or….get it together, and you know how to pic the right one! I could write forever…but i won’t. If you need anything e-mail me K? All is not lost, because even the lost are normally found!
Congratulations on completing that treatment course!
I’m sorry that you have had such a hard time in the past, but you sound like you are honest with yourself and that is the first place to start in dealing with alcohol issues. Being diagnossed with bipolar/anxiety can help, but it’s also only a starting place. I guess you already know, but you have to take each day as it comes, and realize that you need to do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane and safe. You are a parent and the greatest gift/resposiblity you have now is to love your child.
Your story sounds somewhat similar to mine, and countless others who use alcohol to self-medicate, and to cope with psycological illness. I am so very thankful I have children, because they are my reason for living and for trying each day to remain sober and well.
Do you have support? From a doctor,family, friends or a group? Are you on medication for your illness? Have you done much research or read self help books?
I just finished reading a book called The Craving Brain by Ronald A. Ruden, M.D., Ph.D.
In the book he explains how the brain works (in very plain english, it’s not a technical book) and how it became a “craving brain” and how, if left unchecked, it remains in that state..he offers a few different solutions, including medications (that I’ve never heard of) to correct the balance in the brain and thus stop people from being addicted to substances. It’s a very good book and I am going to take it to my Dr. and ask what she thinks.
Another good book for breaking addiction is by The Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr. His book looks at all the false reasons we use alcohol, and shows us that in stead of helping us by drinking, drinking is in fact a poison that always makes the situation worse! That sounds simple, and it is, but if you read his book cover to cover in just a day or two, you will be thinking about alcohol in a totally different light! His book, How to Quit Smoking the Easy way is the reason I quit smoking. His method seems to be to ask you to rethink how you identify/feel/think about these things, and he offers new insight and a new way of perceiving smoking and drinking. Even if your not really a reader, any of these books are easy to read.
Don’t ever give up on yourself, because you have people that love you and depend on you, and you were put on this earth for a reason..it is possible that one day you will be a strong, emotionally well person, if you keep believing in your future and never look back at your past. Stay in the present, use your resources and keep fighting for yourself! You know you’re worth it! I know you can do it!
Yes; it is quite possible, with mood stabilisers ($4/30 days; WalMart*). Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out what help they can offer. Psychological counselling, with a sliding scale, based on income, is available through many religious organisations, such as Catholic counselling, the Methodist church, the Unitarian Universalists, and sometimes the United Way. You don’t have to be a member. (U.S.A.) Google: “clinics; mhmr; (your city); (your state)” I have been variously informed that the phone numbers 211, and 411, are appropriate. View the techniques for control of anxiety/panic attacks, in section 8, at ezy build, below (also section 2; page R first, & *section 10; page O first). Begin, on this first occasion, only, by holding your breath for 5, or 10 seconds: this will give you the confidence to realise that YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BREATHING, but not pass out, or die (your autonomic nervous system resumes breathing, if you become unconscious). Advice from a clinical psychologist is to breathe in to the count of 3: (one thousand one; one thousand two; one thousand three) each takes around a second to say to yourself, in your mind. Then breathe out to the count of 3. Repeat, until it begins to take effect. Understand panic attacks, and what triggers them, in your life (if it is unresolved anxiety, or stress, see sections 6, [page N first - main anxiety post; try the free CBT & hypnotherapy] or 42, [page i first] respectively).
The paper bag method also works for most people, but is not suited to all circumstances, such as driving, or playing sport. Another alternative is psychotherapy, to address its fundamental cause, which is usually anxiety; read section 1, and examine the http://1-800-therapist.com/ & http://www.metanoia.org/choose/ websites, and use the locators to find a therapist, (and phone book, but only if necessary). I used to suffer from panic attacks, until I questioned what had changed in my life, at, or just before that time, to trigger them, which is enough for some people. Visualise as vividly as possible, a large, red, flashing, “STOP!” sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: “I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!” You may want to us either: “ruse”, “ploy”, “game”, or “trick”, instead of “tactic”. It usually takes 30 – 40 repetitions, for most people, to establish a new habit. I also suggest that you learn, then practise the controlled breathing technique, until competent, then employ it, at the very first sign of a panic attack.
Practice one of the relaxation methods in sections 11, 2, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising – saying it to yourself in your mind). Sections 53, and 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: “Even though I sometimes suffer from panic attacks, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Note: the controlled breathing only helps with the symptoms (as do medications/herbal remedies): you need to address the underlying cause, which requires some form of therapy, and Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy has been shown to be effective. Imagine that the cause of your panic; your anxieties, fears, your self doubts, self recriminations, all the agonizing “I’m-so-Stupids”; every painful “I-can’t-do-it” are huge raging, hurtful bulls snorting and charging at you. You see them coming at you and you hold out your red matador’s cape at arms length and simply let them charge right by.
You have it tough. Definitely go on to NAMI’s web site and go to their forums. You’ll be able to talk with a lot of people in the same situation. You have a chemical imbalance and until you find the right med, you are going to have all the little headaches that go with bipolar disorder. Check NAMI out they are a great web site, especially the forums.