how do I help my boyfriend become a productive member of society after a long history of drug abuse?
DRUG ADDICTION REHAB Add comments
Okay, I know what you are all going to say… “break up with him!” But I really want an alternate route of action…. So, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year. When we first got together he had 2 part time jobs that he had been at for about a year prior. He also had a slight drug abuse problem that I wasn’t fully aware of. I was also addicted to drugs in the past (over 5 years ago) so I understand the issues and work that goes along with getting clean, so we started working on it.
One job did lay offs about 4 months into our relationship and he was one of the few to get the boot(he had already started getting off drugs and was doing everything to the best of his power so I let it go)
So now we are down to 1 part time job… that he ended up loosing as well about 2 1/2 months ago.
The problem: We live together and I pay ALL the bills!
AND, Did I mention I have two 4 year old children??
I love my boyfriend sooo much, and my kids love him even more…They adore him. He is great with them and they would rather play with him over me most of the time. He helps me get through all the stressful mommy moments and is helping me teach my kids disipline(they were outa control before him)
Today he is clean, but unemployed, and living off me. The only hope I have left of getting any financial help out of him is the unemployment check that is due to arrive shortly (it took him 2 months to even apply!)
On top of all this, he has drug classes is is supposed to be completing. He wont fuc*n** go! I know I am constantly asking him to do things (like help me get the kids ready for school, we just moved, etc) because I am beyond stressed out, but he should still be able to find time to do it. he is already on strike 2 and the judge told him he needs to be attending meetings before his next court date(last one was 2 weeks ago). He still hasn’t attended one!
When he first got laid off he put in a few apps but never followed up. Now he takes 2-3 naps a day while I’m at work and my house is a mess (its both of our mess but im at work all day and he’s home sleeping).
we are BROKE, and im stressing on how im gonna feed my family at this point. Im turning into a ***** too. constantly nagging and I hate it. Im even counting beers. Im sad to admit but today I counted corndogs that I bought 2 days ago and he has already eaten 10! along with other stuff…..
I dont want to break up with him, or I wouldn’t have posted this.
What I’m looking for are any ideas on how to help him motivate and become a productive MAN.
He was on meth for 7 years, we used to use together.I know he’s a good person, but he hasn’t lived in the real world for a long time. How do you rehabilitate someone into reality? Make them pride themselves and want to succeed. He’s not the smartest cookie and is having trouble getting emloyed because of his criminal background. I am trying to be patient and I want to help guide him.
Any Ideas?? Please Help me!!!
Tags: abuse, after, become, boyfriend, Drug, Help, history, long, member, productive, Society
Whoa! Too many words for me!
Start out small and keep working at it – it will seam like a never ending battle at times; welcome to the real world. lol We all go through these struggles but it will get better and better over time.
It’s great that you’ve quit doing the drugs. Good luck to you both! = )
Good Luck is all I can say!!
This is just my opinion:
I know that when I feel like somebody is nagging me, I tend to tune them out. In other words, it goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe your boyfriend does the same thing. I use to feel like my boyfriend was tuning me out too, when I talk to him about important things (I know I nag as well). So one day I wrote him letter. That way he had to read and take in everything I had to say without argument or interruption. It was easier to get through to him that way.
if you leave him and tell him exactly why he’ll know exactly what it takes to get you to come back
since that appears not to be an option if you THREATEN to leave him and tell him exactly why he’ll know exactly what to do to avoid it
let him know he’s dragging you down too
don’t approach him in anger but in concern and sincerity
yes, you will put a huge dent in his ego
but hopefully he might take steps to repair that ego
as in working and cleaning himself up
maybe he’ll blow up and leave you
but do you want to spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells in fear of offending him?
if you do nothing nothing will happen
you are enabling him
making it easy to stay on the course he is on
change that
Try drugs yourself. You might find you like them.