I have been married for 5 years(our children are grown) and my husband is diagnosed with BP. He also is an alcoholic and now has 3 months sobriety. He is being treated by a psychiatrist and is on a very high dose of lithium. He began lithium in April/2008 and this “mood enhancer” has not yet improved his mood swings. He overreacts to issues that just don’t matter! If he is not irritable, he looks very sad and is very quiet/despondent. He has lost that sparkle he used to have in his eyes. When he gets angry, I have tried everything from making a light joke of his reaction, ignoring it, listening respectfully and hearing his issue, walking away and quietly saying that I don’t wish to participate in his bad mood…..oooh, I am very frustrated as nothing seems to work. Also,as well as having BP, combatting alcoholism and remaining sober is also a huge challenge for him. I find that living like this is dragging me down. I feel happy when he is not around and I have a healthy circle of friends that I talk to and visit. When he comes home, I am noticing more that I put up a wall of defense around me. Often, when I talk to him, he will get angry over a word I used –or just anything! IT is so frustrating so I notice I talk less because I wish to avoid confrontation. I feel like a yo-yo.The other side of it is that the man I married is highly educated, talented and interesting. When he is out of the ‘lows”, he is the best husband any wife could wish for! He is kind, generous, thoughtful, successful and concerned about my well-being. Unfortunately, I haven’t enjoyed any good times with him for almost 4 months but I am hoping that when the lithium “kicks” in and/or when he has more sobriety then these negative times will lessen. We are financially secure with so many blessings and here I am thinking about leaving. I realize that grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but lately I feel pretty depressed living like this. I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. thanks.
Tags: bipolar, cope, husband's, mood, swings
A$$ whopping. He’ll be nice to you afterwards anyway.
The lithium should have kicked in by now. Perhaps he needs to try a diff medication. There is more than one for BP. As far as his alcoholism goes congratulate him everyday for sobriety….it isn’t easy at all. Try to get him to go back to the Doctor and talk about the fact there aren’t any mood swing changes and you would like to try another medication. Good luck.
Lithium is not a cure all.His mood swings will just subside. Did something change in your lives to cause the mood swings. what triggered his mood swings? I do not believe In B.P.disorder. To Me it’s a cop out for someone who does not want to face their responsibilities anymore. Or they are looking for a change in their life but do not want to directly hurt their family. They want a change in their life but are afraid of all of the negative results that change will bring.
Try to keep patience as he is going through tough phase. Understand he needs your support . Only your love can bring him back to the right track.
Also time will make things easier…..!!
cheers!!
I completely empathize with you… My husband also is Bipolar and it is one of the most difficult disorders to deal with. The mood swings are horrible. No matter what you say or do, it is never the right thing to smooth out the situation. I have dealt with this for 5 years as well. There was a time when my husband would go into mania, he would start talking to himself (rambling) and laugh. That was the scariest time in my life, i didn’t know what to say or do. He would stay up for days with maybe a couple of hours of sleep. Please seek to speak to a professional, let out your frustrations and your worries, this is a heavy cross to carry on your own. I began to become depressed and blamed myself for all of the crazy out bursts. Which is silly, it just began to take it’s toll on me mentally and physically. He would say the nastiest things without thinking. Bipolar disorder is one extreme or another they have no limits there is no in between.
I am speaking for myself, I am divorcing my husband at this time. This is way too much for me to handle plus there are other reasons. I can’t go on living with his bizarre behaviors. I wish you the very best… God bless you